


On the Floor of an Abyss

by yawoozyalose



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: AU, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Grave Robbers, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7293883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yawoozyalose/pseuds/yawoozyalose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of the day, it was another way of putting food on the table. The dead wouldn’t miss their belongings all that much, at least that’s what Hoseok insisted to appease him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so. Title is based off a lyric from "Wulf" by Munly and the Lupercalians. Super cool song, pretty much based a lot of this fic off the feeling of it.

“You know,” Hoseok started. Hyunwoo looked up, saw his friend had stabbed his shovel into the ground and leaned his weight on it. “The problem with condoms is that if she doesn’t come while you fuck her, tastes like a fucking balloon when you eat her out afterward.”

Hyunwoo snorted. He took a second for himself, wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of a gloved hand and groaned into an exhale. “You ever heard of, “ladies first”?” He jabbed before he resumed digging.

“Oh, look at the gentleman over here.” Hoseok snorted and gestured with exaggerated jazz hands. “You know I don’t have the patience for that shit.”

“Explains why you can’t keep a girlfriend, selfish bastard.” Hyunwoo glanced up, saw that Hoseok was still rested on his shovel. He scowled. “Hey, I don’t want to be stuck here all night. This place is giving me the creeps, man. Get digging.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” Hoseok picked his shovel back up and resumed his share of the work. “How the fuck do people do this for a living? We’ve been digging for hours, looks like we’re not even halfway there.”

Even if the conversation slowed things down, Hyunwoo was grateful for anything other than the howl of wind and the sound of the shovel pulling dirt loose from the ground. “Machines or something, I don’t know. I don’t think people dig graves by hand anymore.”

Hoseok was right about one thing. They really weren’t prepared for that much work. They were filthy, caked in dirt from head to toe with the sweat soaking through their clothes. They hadn’t anticipated going through their water that quickly and either man had to periodically stop to stave off lightheadedness and shake the pain out of their hands. The gloves were a good call. Even if their hands cramped like hell, they were glad avoid the nasty blisters that would’ve come if they went without.

“Isn’t the worst job we’ve had,” Hyunwoo offered after a stretch of silence had started unnerving him. He couldn’t think of a better way to fill that space, otherwise he would’ve whistled if his mouth wasn’t so dry. “Unless you want to go back to the mines.”

“Depends,” Hoseok sing-songed. “How much worker’s comp would I get for black lung?”

Hyunwoo clicked his tongue. “You’ll get me killed one day.”

“Eating means pain and comfort means starving, right? Maybe I’d be doing you a favor if I got you killed.”

“Maybe.” He grunted a noise of amusement. At the end of the day, it was another way of putting food on the table. The dead wouldn’t miss their belongings all that much, at least that’s what Hoseok insisted to appease him.

They toiled way, until the shovels started scraping against a wooden casket and they'd shared a relieved smile that night. They had started late in the evening, finishing now at nearly three in the morning.

Hoseok knelt down, dragged his fingers across the wood on the casket before knocking on it. He craned his head toward Hyunwoo. “You're going to have to help me lift this out. The wood's thick.” He grabbed one of the handles and slowly started heaving the casket out, just enough for another handle to reveal itself so Hyunwoo could come up alongside him and grab it. They counted down together before they pulled in unison, getting it out onto surface ground with one swift pull.

Hoseok took to the bottom of the casket while Hyunwoo took the top. They nodded to each other once before wedging their shovels between the seals and prying the casket open. Hoseok peeped in, and then immediately stepped back and started hacking into his forearm.

“Christ, that smell,” Hoseok managed through his coughing, voice hoarse. “God damn, let’s let it air out for a bit.”

Hyunwoo pointedly avoided the open casket and fixed his gaze on Hoseok. “What'd you see?”

Most of the coughing had subsided, but Hoseok's eyes still watered. Despite this, he smiled. “She's got some pretty rings on her. A necklace, too.” He sucked in a few more breaths of fresh air before peering into the casket again. “Oh, a bracelet. Looks like silver.”

“No shit?” Motivated by Hoseok's mild reaction, Hyunwoo had looked in. It took a moment of staring before the horror set in, the gruesome sight of a decomposed body molded over. He knew better than to breathe in, so he turned himself around and sucked in a few calming breaths as he felt his stomach churn. 

“Sorry, I should've warned you.” Hoseok hadn't been too heartfelt with his apology, he was more concerned with taking off the gardening gloves and pulling the latex gloves on but one was left ungloved to rub circles into Hyunwoo's back. “You gonna puke?”

“Nah,” Hyunwoo breathed. “Just give me a second.” He knelt for a few moments, collected himself before discarding the gardening gloves for his own latex gloves. “If that’s what the dead look like, I want to be cremated.”

Hoseok chuckled and clapped a hand on Hyunwoo’s shoulder with a soft squeeze. “You and me both. Let’s get the shit off of her and get the hell out of here.”

“Yeah.” Hyunwoo nodded, sucked in another breath before standing upright. Bracing himself, he looked in again and fought a dry-heave. “The rings and the necklace look like gold, at least.”

“That necklace looks heavy, too.” Hoseok pulled on the second glove, tentatively reaching out and pinching the ring on her ring finger. He slid it off gently and pulled it close for inspection. “No markings on it. We’ll have to test it.” He pulled a resealable plastic baggie from his back pocket and dropped the ring in.

Hyunwoo took up the space on the other side of the casket and pulled off a ring from her other hand. “This one’s got a 14 karat marking.” He held it up and pointed out the tiny engravement. “Don’t know much about jewelry, but I think this is a good sign.”

He handed the ring off to Hoseok who briefly inspected it. He grinned and dropped it into the baggie alongside the first one. They made quick work of the rest of the rings and the bracelet. All that was left was the necklace.

“The clasp on the necklace, it's on the back of the neck,” Hoseok pointed out. “One of us is going to have to hold her up and the other's going to have to take the necklace off.”

“Fuck,” Hyunwoo hissed. He sighed, more of a groan and propped the corpse up by the shoulders. At least it was light. Hoseok got the clasp undone quickly and the pair jumped back and let the corpse drop back into the casket.

“Well, that's over with.” Hoseok pulled the gloves off and stuffed them into his pockets. He grabbed the gardening gloves and his shovel. “We better get going.”

Hyunwoo motioned toward the casket. “We’re just going to leave it like this?”

“We fucked the grass up by digging, anyway. It'll be obvious someone dug it up so let's just make this someone else's mess.” Hoseok started walking off, leaving Hyunwoo scrambling to grab his gloves and shovel to not be left alone in the graveyard.

They threw all their wares into the truck bed, except for the jewelry which remained in Hoseok's pocket as they drove their way back. The AC was busted so the windows were rolled down. Their antennae was missing, and the only station that was picked up was an adult contemporary channel. At that dead hour the only songs that played were slow ballads meant for late-night lovemaking.

Hyunwoo rested an arm on the window, glanced over the cliff they were driving along. He couldn’t get the image of a sudden tire blowout sending them tumbling to their deaths out of his mind. He turned the radio up and studied the map.

They drove way out of town for their first hit, three hours out into the middle of nowhere which they'd figured would be good for gaining experience and staying out of trouble. With Hyunwoo's nerves fried and Hoseok noisily humming improvised harmonies over staticy radio crooning while he drove, the former was wishing he was somewhere familiar.

“I doubt I’ll sleep tonight,” Hyunwoo admitted a little darkly, appending a laugh to make it seem less dire than it felt. “I’ll be seeing that thing in my nightmares.”

Hoseok hadn’t taken his eyes off the road, but he’d taken a hand off the wheel and squeezed Hyunwoo’s shoulder firmly. “Hey, I’ll get you good and drunk when we get home and you’ll sleep dreamless, okay? Shit, if you want I’ll stay up with you all night. I’ll turn it around, make it a good night.”

Hyunwoo patted the hand on his shoulder in thanks. “I don’t know how you’re so collected right now.”

Hoseok shrugged. “Dunno.” He pulled his hand back to the wheel. “Feels like I’ve seen worse. There’s some really weird porn on the Internet.”

“Hm,” Hyunwoo smirked. “I thought you told me you got banned from the library because you were playing music videos too loud.”

“Well, I lied.” Hoseok grinned, breaking into a short laugh. “The librarian caught me watching porn. I thought it’d help my case if I asked her if she wanted to watch it with me. For future reference, it doesn’t.”

Chuckling, Hyunwoo looked down at the map. “I think you’ll be taking the next left.”

“Got it.” A moment of silence passed after the turn was made before Hoseok started up again. “Don’t tell me you never watched porn on a library computer.”

“Can’t say I have. Why don’t we talk about something nice? Like, what we’re going to do with the money.”

“Besides groceries?” Hoseok hummed. “If it’s genuine gold, it’s going to be a nice sum. We should put it toward something meaningful.”

“I’m thinking we could afford a couple months’ rent and a place with electricity and plumbing,” Hyunwoo suggested. “We could live like people for once.”

“Imagine, running water. Hot, at that. Won’t have to flirt with that Hyungwon kid who works the check-in counter at the gym to let us grab free showers anymore.”

“You’re going to do it anyway. You like the attention,” Hyunwoo accused.

“Yeah, I do,” Hoseok agreed. “I mean, you seen the guy’s lips, right? Can’t tell me God didn’t put them on him for a reason.” He made sucking noises before breaking into a giggle fit.

Despite rolling his eyes, Hyunwoo laughed along. They brainstormed for a few more hours on their way back, navigating to their home of a humble, abandoned farmhouse. They didn't know much about the place, no clue as to why it was abandoned but they happened upon it roaming toward the outskirts of town to find a place to park the truck for a night's sleep. The doors were unlocked and the place was completely empty except for some large furniture pieces like the pullout couch they slept on every night and the gas stove that they not only used for cooking, but to keep the place warm.

Even in the summer, the place was always cold. Hyunwoo figured it had to do with the place always being so dark. Either that or the place was haunted, which Hyunwoo wouldn't rule out but Hoseok always teased him when he brought it up.

It was hard to believe they'd called the place home for nearly a year. It wasn't the life they dreamed about, but better than they'd fared before. And they were still young, the rest of their lives ahead of them. Hyunwoo always let his head swell up with fantasies about getting their lives together, letting opportunistic thoughts carry him into sleep. The idea was that the good thoughts would carry into his dreams.

Though that night they skipped sleep and broke out the bourbon. Hoseok wasn’t interested in drinking that night. He kept touching the bulge of where the jewelry sat in his pocket, as if checking that it was really there and he kept Hyunwoo company while the latter nursed the bottle until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. As far as sleep went that was as good as it was going to get for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel for @mingmoongs for having to put up with me teasing her about this story. But here it is, and here it comes. I'd say there's a wild ride coming up. I'll be changing tags as I upload and as the other members and situations are introduced.


	2. Chapter 2

Hyunwoo and Hoseok were seated at Jooheon’s kitchen table while their host brewed coffee for the three of them.

Jooheon pulled three mugs from his cupboard and pulled the carafe from the drip maker. “Hyunwoo, how do you take your coffee?”

“Black, please.” Hyunwoo offered a small smile, one he hoped would read as apologetic for bringing Hoseok along.

“I like mine with milk and sugar, sweetie,” Hoseok piped in.

“You know if you weren’t in the room, I’d piss in your coffee,” Jooheon deadpanned before stiffly setting a mug of black coffee in front of Hoseok.

“Joke’s on you. I had a boss who did that for so long I came to prefer it.”

Jooheon regarded Hoseok with a hard stare for a moment. He poured another mug that was handed off more delicately to Hyunwoo. “It’s hot, be careful.”

“Appreciate it.” Hyunwoo gave a grateful nod. “Sorry, Hoseok really wanted to see you. He promised me he’d be nice.” He jutted an elbow into Hoseok’s bicep as a warning. “You’re going to be nice now, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll play nice.” He took a sip of coffee and offered a strained toothy smile when Jooheon took a seat at the table. Hyunwoo hoped for peace between them after the men on either side of him took sips of coffee.

After setting his mug down, Jooheon slammed a hand onto the table. “Alright, guys. What do you have for me?”

Hoseok grinned, more genuine. He reached into his back pocket and dropped the baggie of jewelry onto the middle of the table.

Jooheon raised his brows. He took a long look at the bag before lifting his gaze to the two men. “You didn’t buy this.”

“We had to do some degrading sex acts to get these,” Hoseok joked.

Hyunwoo was concerned it was a sign of the end times when Jooheon had smirked at one of Hoseok’s jokes. “Really, where’d you guys get this?”

Hyunwoo straightened, clearing his throat. “We, uh, we grave robbed.”

“Shit.” Jooheon reached out, picked up the bag and brought it closer. “No offense, Hyunwoo, but this couldn’t have been your idea. You’re too soft for something like this.”

“None taken, you’re right.” Hyunwoo laughed and stuck a thumb to the man beside him. “Hoseok came up with the plan.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok chimed. “It took a few weeks of searching through old obituaries to find some rich dead ladies.”

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this to you, but I am impressed.” Jooheon set the baggie down and shook his head. “You better relish it because I’m never going to compliment your sorry ass again.”

“Oh, it’s an honor,” Hoseok gushed with a false enthusiasm. His expression had become abruptly serious. He leaned halfway over the table and brought his voice low. “You test it, right, and say it’s all real. How much you gonna give us for it?”

Jooheon’s expression followed in suit, matching Hoseok’s. “The exchange rate is stacked in your favor right now. You’ll be making my wallet much lighter, but how about we test it and weigh it first and then we’ll negotiate?”

“Sounds good, right Hyunwoo?” Hoseok had sat back again and swung to knock shoulders with Hyunwoo.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Jooheon left the room briefly and came back with a first aid kit. Hyunwoo was about to question it but their host set it on the table and opened it up, revealing a scale, small tools and some unmarked vials filled with clear liquid. He held one up and smiled. “Nitric acid. This doesn’t fuck around, it’ll tell me right away if it’s real gold or not.”

“What happens if I drink it?” Hoseok asked, reaching for the kit before Jooheon snatched it out of reach.

“Don’t know,” Jooheon answered, jaw tensed. “You should try it so we can all find out.”

Hyunwoo grabbed Hoseok’s forearm and squeezed tightly. “Stop messing around, you’re not helping anyone.”

The smirk fell from Hoseok’s face. He nodded, only once to signify he understood. “Sorry, man. I’ll stop being a dick.”

“Thank you.” Hyunwoo turned back toward Jooheon. “You can continue.”

Between Hoseok and Hyunwoo was ghost silence. They watched Jooheon make small scratches into each piece. He pulled on a pair of gloves, sucked nitric acid through a dropper and plopped droplets on each scratch. None of the pieces had shown a reaction. Jooheon exhaled loudly through his nostrils. “It’s a good day to be you guys. I’ll weigh it now.” He pulled out the scale and power cable, unplugging the coffee machine to power on the scale. He dropped the gold pieces first, then the silver individually.

The atmosphere had become tense as negotiations started. Hyunwoo was glad Hoseok knew to stay quiet for that part as he and Jooheon went back and forth with numbers until they had agreed on a figure posed by Hyunwoo. 

“Only because you’re a good guy,” Jooheon explained. He gestured toward Hoseok. “To show him that maybe if he had a few manners things might work out in his favor.”

Hyunwoo expected a comment from Hoseok, but he’d only raised his brows at the dig. He imagined that even Hoseok knew not to bite the hand that fed. Jooheon left the room again, brought out a wad of cash and counted it out on the table twice before folding it and handing it to Hyunwoo.

After Hyunwoo pocketed it, he received a slap on the chest from the back of Jooheon’s hand. “Hang back for a second, Hyunwoo. I want to talk to you.”

“I’ll warm up the truck,” Hoseok offered, leaving the two to talk.

Once Hoseok was out of sight Jooheon spoke up, “What’s the secret? Do you beat the shit out of him?”

“Huh?”

“He apologized to you. As long as I’ve known him I’ve never seen it happen.”

Hyunwoo grinned at that. “Nothing like that.”

“I’ve known you two for well over a year now. Does he have a problem with me?”

“If I knew, I’d tell you.” Hyunwoo shrugged. “We’ve been friends for a long time. The guy’s practically family. He has a hard time with people he doesn’t trust, but he listens to me. Look, I know he can act a little stupid sometimes and I’m sorry if we gave you a hard time today.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Jooheon waved a dismissive hand. “It’s always nice to see you doing well, at least. Go out enjoy yourself for once. Celebrate and shit. Get drunk, get laid, I don’t know,” he shooed.

“Thanks. Really.” After exchanging goodbyes, Hyunwoo went and met Hoseok in the car.

“What’d you guys talk about?”

“He was wondering why you hate him so much.”

Hoseok ignited the engine and started driving. “I don’t hate him or anything. It’s just the kind of profession he’s got. How can you feel so easygoing around a guy like that?”

“Well, we grave robbed. You committed an armed robbery once,” Hyunwoo listed. “Oh, there was the night before we left the mines, cracked the boss’ safe and ran off with all the cash.”

Hoseok snorted. “That guy deserved it, though. He pissed in my coffee.”

“I’m just saying that what does it matter what kind of dirt he’s got on his hands when we all have dirt on our hands? He’s my friend, hasn’t fucked us over once. I think that’s worth something, don’t you?”

“I don’t know. I’ll try being nicer to him, for you.”

“All I can ask for, thank you,” Hyunwoo conceded.

They drove around town that day, looking for “For Rent” signs posted around the area and taking the number and email down of each location.

Over the coming days Hyunwoo sent out emails from library computers and calls from payphones, visiting places with Hoseok and negotiating potential rent until they found a place out on the edge of town that was cheap. The place was far from luxurious, chipped paint and creaking, worn floorboards. The tile in the bathroom and kitchen was cracked, some of the walls stained with cigarette smoke damaged. But it was affordable, on the grid with working appliances and better than nearly anywhere they’d stayed before.

There wasn’t much to move in. They brought the pull-out couch from the farmhouse along with their meager belongings. They set up accounts with the light and water companies and on their first night they took hot showers in a place they called their own.

Things were easy for a while, living day-to-day in a warm apartment with food in a working fridge. They lifted a CRT and a VHS player in a dump bin beside an electronics store. Hyunwoo checked out tapes from the library and they spent their weeks watching films.

After two months of comfort, their resources had dwindled. They were seated side-by-side on the couch, watching a mobster movie they had only half of their attention on while they ate dinner.

“We're going to have to take another score soon,” Hoseok brought up during a quiet scene of the film.

Of course they had to, of course they couldn't live that easy forever but Hyunwoo hoped he wouldn’t hear those words again. He had been quiet for a while, only realizing it when Hoseok was staring at him. “Yeah,” the word was dragged by hesitance.

“Hyunwoo,” Hoseok started softly. “We gotta do it if we want to keep things as they are. Aren't you happy?” 

“I am, happier than I've ever been but,” Hyunwoo sputtered. He set his bowl down on the floor, afraid he’d knock it over. “-but it’s not honest work.”

“Honest work?” Hoseok parroted, beginning to raise his voice. “Don’t tell me you want to go back to busting our asses. You want to work yourself into an early grave?”

Hyunwoo put his hands up, hoping to calm Hoseok down before the neighbors complained. “Hoseok, relax. Come on-”

“No,” Hoseok snapped in a shout. “No, Hyunwoo, you're too good for that. You're too good to go back to somewhere where they don't see you as anything more than a tool.” He couldn't stop Hoseok if he tried, the other man’s speaking rushed and teetering on hysteric. “I know it's still hard work, and it's not work I'm proud of but this is a jump off point to a better life. To the kind of life,” Hoseok paused, started to tear up which Hyunwoo had expected after hearing the catches in the throat but it never made it any less heartbreaking to see. “To the kind of life we always dreamed about.”

Through wailing and whimpering Hoseok muttered a string of apologies, apologizing for the big things, for the little. He apologized for crying again and Hyunwoo pulled Hoseok into his arms, letting the other man cry into his chest.

Hoseok’s hands came up his back and gripped into the fabric of his t-shirt. He hiccuped and squeaked a meek, “I love you.” 

Hyunwoo smiled, patted the space between Hoseok’s shoulders affectionately. “I love you too, man.”

Hoseok calmed some, still sniffled loud and cleared his throat. He pulled his head back, away from the chest to look Hyunwoo in the eye. “No. Shit.” He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and cleared his throat a second time. “Fuck, Hyunwoo. I love you like, like I want to be your man. Like I want to take care of you and make you happy and shit.”

Hyunwoo patted Hoseok’s head. “Let it all out first, then we'll talk about it.”

After fifteen minutes of Hoseok settling down they’d moved into the kitchen. Hyunwoo brought out a pair of drinking glasses and a bottle of vodka. He poured each of them a shot’s worth and they clinked glasses before sucking them back.

“How long?” Hyunwoo prompted.

“A long time,” Hoseok revealed. “Back when you used to date, you treated girls so nice. I was jealous, you know? Thought I was jealous of you because I wanted to be more like you.” He poured himself another shot. “I was jealous of them. Wanted it to be me.”

Hoseok sighed, rested his head on his arm that laid flat over the counter. “Seeing you work so hard, bust your ass every single day for some ungrateful bastard who didn't deserve your work, someone who couldn't appreciate you, it drove me fucking crazy.” He wore a small, sad smile and drew circles into the counter with a finger. “I don't expect anything, you know. And it won't change a thing no matter what you tell me.”

“Well,” Hyunwoo drummed his fingers anxiously on the table. “I'm not so sure to give you my take just yet.”

Hoseok sat up, jabbed two fingers playfully into Hyunwoo's side. “You better not be getting my hopes up.”

“I thought you weren't expecting anything.”

“Fuck off, Hyunwoo.” They laughed.


	3. Chapter 3

The second time around they had a better idea of the work that went in. They splurged a little, for better shovels and better gloves. That and a tank of gas for the trip depleted what was left of their cash reserve.

Hyunwoo had kept mostly quiet for the trip there, occasionally catching Hoseok glancing his way when he looked over. He kept receiving reassuring smiles, but at most Hyunwoo would acknowledge them with nod.

They had experience. They knew the work involved and were more mentally prepared for the night of toil. Something was more unsettling the second time around, though, causing Hyunwoo to ball his fists so tightly that his knuckles went white.

They remembered more water. They had better tools. The grave was a newer one, the dirt still relatively loose and soft from the recent burial. All of that had contributed to many less hours spent digging, but the sight of the body wasn't any less of a horror when all was said and done.

Once again, the hard work had paid off. What she had in gold seemed to be double the weight of the previous score. Hoseok had celebrated on the ride home, joyous singing and listing new ideas for the money. A few hours of work had loosened Hyunwoo up and he chimed in with his own ideas, however much less enthused he was.

They hid the plastic baggie of gold between the couch cushions when they arrived back at their apartment. Hoseok brought out alcohol and soda in his revelry. Hyunwoo accepted a drink. 

Curled up on the couch, drink in hand and buzzed, Hyunwoo tossed his inhibitions and leaned to kiss Hoseok. The response was immediate, Hoseok sucking Hyunwoo’s fat bottom lip into his mouth and pulling the man closer to him by wrapping arms behind his back.

It would have been bad if they fucked. Hoseok was already hard, Hyunwoo felt the erection jabbing into his hip. Hyunwoo pulled back, took a drink and let the silence hang between them. It wasn't a rejection, not quite. He’d only wanted to get his mind off the night but didn’t want any more than he’d bargained for. He slung an arm around Hoseok’s shoulder to reinforce that he stood by his actions..

With a soft sigh, Hoseok rested his head on Hyunwoo's shoulder. “You have soft lips.” Hoseok's hand found a way on his bare thigh. Hyunwoo was dressed down, only in boxers and a tanktop and as the hand made its passes rubbing up and down it inched closer toward his crotch.

It would have been so bad if they fucked. Hyunwoo knew Hoseok had fucked around with guys before but Hyunwoo never had. He was curious, a little turned on at the thought of it. That was far from the issue.

He turned, faced Hoseok who smiled suggestively and suddenly squeezed his inner thigh right below his crotch, knuckles brushing against his dick. He exhaled slowly, quietly through this nose.

Hoseok’s thumb stroked deliberately over his cock. The fingers fanned on his thigh, pressing fingertips into the skin. He leaned into Hyunwoo’s neck, nose nudging along the jaw. “Should we pull the mattress out?”

It would have been so bad if they fucked. “Yeah.” But Hyunwoo always had a hard time saying no to Hoseok.

They set their drinks down beside the couch, ensuring they wouldn’t knock the glasses over. They’d forgotten they’d stashed the gold in the couch when they pulled the mattress out and the baggie dropped onto the floor. Hoseok grabbed it and put it by the drinks and then promptly removed his shirt. He sidled up by Hyunwoo on the mattress, sat thigh-to-thigh. A hand resumed its place on his thigh, thumb resuming the movement on him with rougher presses.

The hand crept up and squeezed his half hard cock, hot even through his boxers. Hyunwoo held onto Hoseok’s bicep to still himself while he was being kneaded and played with.

Hoseok guided Hyunwoo’s prick out through the slit in the boxers. He smiled, blew a playful kiss and held the shaft bare in his hand. His eyes flitted between Hoseok’s face and the hand. He licked his lips, mesmerized by the pump of the hand sliding up toward the head.

He grunted, turned it into a softer hum of encouragement when the hand slid up and gently closed around the head. Every time he looked back up into his friend’s face his heart thumped harder in his chest.

Nothing good ever came from Hoseok smiling that way, a grin ear-to-ear with eyes wrinkled around the creases. His hand lowered to the base, held it firmly as he leaned over Hyunwoo’s lap and brought his mouth close enough to kiss the tip.

Hyunwoo anticipated the tongue, lapping over the slit in a tease before he sucked it into his mouth properly. Hyunwoo sat back, let the backrest of the couch prop his head up. He watched in a sort of daze as Hoseok went down on him.

He patted Hoseok’s head, massaged his fingers into the scalp. The tongue started wriggling along the underside of the head. Hyunwoo breathed sharply.

“I'm close, Hoseok,” he warned quietly. Hoseok nodded as well as he could have with a stuffed mouth and sucked harder until Hyunwoo lost the rhythm of his breathing and felt the slow burn of his orgasm surge.

Hoseok never took his mouth off, swallowing every rope of cum. He gave a few final, careful laps of the tongue once Hyunwoo was done and pulled his mouth off. When he sat up, he pressed a kiss onto Hyunwoo’s cheek.

“Did that feel good?”

Hyunwoo shot a half smile. “Yeah, it did.” He shifted his gaze toward his lap. “I, uh.” He tucked himself back into his boxers and patted his own lap. “Take your boxers off and put your legs up here.”

After stripping out of the boxers Hoseok slid his calves over Hyunwoo’s lap. He let out a yelp when Hyunwoo pulled him up further by the ankles, so their thighs sat perpendicular and Hoseok was seated on the other's legs.

Hyunwoo brought an arm behind Hoseok’s shoulders, partly affectionate but mostly to offer his friend’s back a little support.

Hyunwoo dealt with the hesitance head on. He’d jerked himself off enough times, giving a handjob couldn't have been that difficult. Hoseok didn't give him much time to think as Hyunwoo was guided into a kiss by a thumb and forefinger on his chin.

It had actually helped Hyunwoo find the nerve to grab another man’s erect cock. It distracted him from the lingering surrealism. He let so much of his mind pour into the kiss that most of the movement of his hand was unconscious except for when it slackened and he needed to remind himself to move it.

Hoseok was noisier than he was, more expressive than any of the women he’d slept with, throwing his whole body into his pleasure to the point Hyunwoo believed the other was being dramatic. A thought sat in his mind about the neighbors complaining, but Hoseok had his mouth attached to a spot behind Hyunwoo’s ear and had him forgetting his concerns.

Hoseok came in his hand, a mess that had leaked onto the other’s thighs and boxers. They kissed again, brief and light before the other slid off his lap to quickly wash up and change. Hyunwoo had gotten up to wash his hands.

Hyunwoo returned to bed first, Hoseok joining him a few minutes afterward. 

They shouldn’t have done any of that. Hyunwoo turned to Hoseok, who had lifted his head and grinned at him. He gestured toward the empty space between them, patting the mattress. Hyunwoo scooted next to him and Hoseok pulled his arm, curled his own around it and placed a kiss on the bicep.

“Night.”

Despite himself, Hyunwoo smiled. “Goodnight.”

Hyunwoo felt something sitting heavy in him when they had headed to Jooheon’s the following morning. The three men were seated around his kitchen table, catching up on the last few months.

“It’s competing with city kids who do what I do.” Jooheon sighed, kept lifting his cup to his mouth but always found another thing to say before he took a drink. “Their job is practically worthless up there, so they come down here hoping for traction and they don’t have respect for their elders.” Jooheon shook his head. “I’m talking about sixteen-year-old kids trying to bully me out of my business, here.”

“Better than when the police do it,” Hyunwoo offered with a polite chuckle.

“Yeah, can’t rough up the police.” Jooheon laughed. Finally, he took a sip of coffee and changed the subject. “So you guys have a real place now. How’s that working for you?”

“It’s great,” Hyunwoo started. “Feels like we’re starting to take control of our lives.” Hoseok had been quiet until then, he nudged his friend gently to get him to join the conversation. “Right?”

Hoseok had nodded. “Happier than I’ve ever been.”

Jooheon set his cup down and leaned forward, over the table to get a closer look at Hoseok. “You sick or something?”

“Trying to be nice,” Hoseok explained. “For real.”

“Well, damn.” Jooheon sat back in his chair and took another gulp of coffee. “Funny how this works out, I was just thinking of you the other night.”

At that, Hoseok smirked. “I’m flattered, but I’m a taken man.”

Jooheon sucked air through his teeth. “I talk to a guy who lives in the town over. He’s got money,” Jooheon prefaced before further explanation. “We’re friends. He tells me what goes on with him, I tell him what goes on with me. I mentioned you guys in passing and he was interested.”

Hoseok pointed toward Hyunwoo. “He’s taken, too.”

“I’m not pimping you guys out,” Jooheon said, exasperated. “He’s got his own business online, sells some fucked up shit to fucked up people but he makes a mint on it. He’s got work for you, not a far departure from what you already do and it’ll be a nice supplement to the gold money.”

“I’m just not sure, Jooheon.” Hyunwoo shook his head. “I’m already getting enough thrills to last me ten lifetimes. I don’t need anymore.”

“Fair enough,” Jooheon nodded.

Hyunwoo side-eyed Hoseok, surprised he stayed quiet at the offer. The testing, negotiation and receiving the money had all gone smoothly, but Hyunwoo realized something was off when Hoseok opted to stay behind for a moment to talk to Jooheon.

He waited in the car, anxious and nervous with what Hoseok would return with. He still wasn’t relieved when his friend had turned up twenty-minutes later empty-handed.

“You were right all along,” Hoseok spoke up as he got in the passenger seat of the truck. “He’s a great guy, we buried the hatchet.”

“Glad to hear it.” There had to be more to it than that. If his hands were empty, then there had to be something in his pockets. Sure enough, he looked down and saw a bulge in a front pocket. From what he gathered, it looked like a cell phone. Neither of them had owned one and Hoseok wouldn’t buy one without consulting Hyunwoo first. It was given to him by Jooheon.

The cell phone didn’t come up until a few days after Hoseok received it. They were out grocery shopping and it rang suddenly. Hoseok answered it, stepped away from the aisle but Hyunwoo followed behind to eavesdrop.

“I heard a lot about you too,” Hoseok responded. Moments of him listening passed before he answered again, “Yeah, it’s not the best time now. I’m grocery shopping. But I have your number now so I’ll call you back when I get home. Appreciate it, bye.” He closed the phone and shoved it back into his pocket.

“Didn’t know you had a cell phone,” Hyunwoo greeted when Hoseok came back to his side.

“Jooheon gave it to me,” Hoseok admitted. “I’m taking the job his friend’s got for me, we just need to discuss the terms first.”

Hyunwoo didn’t respond. He didn’t have any right to tell Hoseok not to do anything, but he also didn’t want to know more than he already did. He stayed out of eavesdropping when they returned home. Hoseok remained outside and called the guy back while Hyunwoo put away the groceries.

The conversation hadn’t been long. Hoseok stepped inside after only a couple of minutes. He folded the cell phone closed and placed it on the kitchen counter. He explained more as he joined to help put away the groceries. “He wants to meet up soon to explain the job. His name is Minhyuk.”

“He couldn’t just explain it over the phone?”

“He’s paranoid about talking too much on the phone, you know?” Hoseok shrugged. “Worried someone he doesn’t want hearing is listening in.”

“I don’t know, Hoseok. You sure the guy isn’t dangerous?”

Hoseok waved a dismissive hand. “Jooheon seems to trust the guy enough. He can’t be that bad.”

“I guess,” Hyunwoo conceded. He kept quiet on how he didn’t want Hoseok meeting up with the guy.


	4. Chapter 4

There was a diner on the other part of town, right off the highway by a gas station. The place was awful, but because of its location it ran 24 hours. Hoseok suggested it for a midnight meeting, insisting he could handle going alone but Hyunwoo accompanied him anyway.

They requested a booth in the far corner of the restaurant. The waitress hesitated, but granted their request after a little sweet talking from Hoseok. They ordered coffee to start, and were given menus to thumb through while they waited for their third party.

Every time a car pulled into the parking lot, Hyunwoo listened for the rumbling of an engine. There were bells attached to the doors, ringing every time they were jostled by people coming and going. His head snapped up every time he heard the chime.

A stringbean eventually stepped in, lanky with a mop of blond hair, looking really out of place against the typical residents of the town. The stringbean glanced at his phone, looked around and spotted the table in the back corner and smiled, a face friendlier than Hyunwoo had expected.

“Didn’t know Jooheon had such cute friends,” Hoseok commented offhandedly as Minhyuk approached. Hoseok stood to greet him and seemed surprised when Minhyuk hugged him as if they were familiar, as if they were already friends and meeting again after being separated for so long. Hoseok reciprocated the hug with less than half of that enthusiasm.

Minhyuk glanced over and waved to Hyunwoo. After Hyunwoo returned the wave Minhyuk’s attention returned to Hoseok. “Pleasure meeting face-to-face. I never liked talking on the phone.”

“Pleasure meeting you too.” Hoseok took a seat, scooted and gestured for Minhyuk to take a seat beside him. “If you’re hungry, we haven’t ordered yet.”

The three looked through the menus, most of their focus on Minhyuk who explained the kind of work he did.

“See, there are sites that exist that aren’t really easy to get to with the sort of browsers you’re accustomed to. You guys know what an IP address is?” When both of them shook their heads, he smiled. “Well, everyone that’s connected to the Internet has one and the activity on it can be followed. At first, what I did was create a service where I made one IP address look like another one, one that was much harder to trace back to the original person. But I realized there were some more niche uses to capitalize on.”

“Yeah, Jooheon told us about that once, how he tried selling some stuff online,” Hoseok added, looking up briefly from the menu. “Went over our heads at the time but it’s making more sense now.”

“He launched the site with my help, actually,” Minhyuk laughed. “Glad you sort of get the idea, though. You can set up a market with all kinds of things people from all over the world want. Things with questionable legal standards, granted, but most importantly you can protect yourself and your customers while you do it. So that’s what I did, I launched a shop.”

“What kind of stuff is up there?” Hyunwoo asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“I deal more in novelty,” Minhyuk explained. “People like collecting morbid oddities. I used to have a nice young gentleman work for me doing, practically, what you guys are doing now. He worked at a funeral home and would take out some bits and pieces of the dead for me. I paid him labor and a percentage of what I made on a sale. Recently he moved out to the city so my business came to a halt.”

Hyunwoo didn’t want to know anymore. Hoseok did, though. “And you make real money on that?”

“Yeah, but it varies.” Minhyuk shrugged. “It changes with the body part, the preservation, even the gender.”

“Damn,” Hoseok whispered.

“It’s heavy.” Minhyuk chuckled. “I can understand why it’d be overwhelming to go into. If you guys want to talk about it between yourselves before you agree to anything, we can meet up another time.”

“Won’t be necessary,” Hoseok spoke up.

If Hoseok wouldn’t put a stop to the madness, Hyunwoo would. “What? You realize we’d have to hack off pieces of a corpse, right?”

Hoseok only made a face. “So? They’re dead. They won’t be using them. I’ll take the job.”

“Hosek, this is fucking ridiculous-”

“You don’t have to do anything, Hyunwoo. I’m doing this for you,” Hoseok interrupted with a shout and a finger poking into Hyunwoo’s chest. A few patrons had looked over, stared at them for the outburst and Hoseok exhaled slowly. He faced Minhyuk. “I’ll take care of all of it. I already knew he wouldn’t want to do it, that’s fine.”

“Admirable,” Minhyuk had gushed after a moment’s hesitation.

A heavy silence hung over Hyunwoo and Hoseok as if they had plenty to say but waited for the other to speak. The waitress had come and taken their orders and Minhyuk had excused himself to use the restroom shortly after. 

Hyunwoo to found the nerve to speak once the third party was out of earshot. Still, he brought his voice low. “How can you say you'll take care of all of it when you know I would never let you do it alone?”

“I didn't think about that when I said it,” Hoseok admitted. “But this is about getting our lives back on track and thinking about our future. It's worth it, Hyunwoo. It's worth all the trouble.” Hoseok took Hyunwoo’s hand over the table, slid his fingers around Hyunwoo’s wrist. He pulled the hand up and pressed a kiss to a knuckle.

“Everything about it screams bad news”

“If it goes south you can tell me ‘I told you so’.” His lips passed up along the forearm, he leaned halfway across the table to continue kissing up Hyunwoo’s arm.

Hyunwoo slowly pulled his arm out of the hold. “I can't stop you. I won't let you go alone if this is really what you want to do.”

Hoseok bowed his head gratefully. Minhyuk returned, and their food followed. The two ate in silence while Minhyuk prattled on about himself. Hoseok seemed to listen intently but Hyunwoo had tuned most of it out.

They didn’t linger too long after finishing their food, saying their goodbyes with handshakes all around and a promise that Minhyuk would call Hoseok with the job once he notified his clientele that business would be back up and running.

They drove home in silence, and once they returned to their apartment and closed the door behind them, Hoseok came up behind Hyunwoo, wrapped his arms over the waist and kissed along the neck. “I’m sorry, let me make you feel better.”

“I'm not in the mood.” Hyunwoo stepped out of the embrace. “I'm going to take a shower.” He locked the bathroom door, something he’d never done in all his time of knowing Hoseok but he knew the other would follow behind otherwise.

He caught the rattle of the knob just as he turned on the water, watch for a moment as Hoseok attempted a second time to turn it. He smiled to himself, charmed by Hoseok’s optimism but frowned once he realized how out of place the amusement felt.

He liked his water hot, and he sighed as he stepped under the spray. He took his time, until wariness replaced itself with an indifference he talked himself into.

When Hyunwoo got out of the shower he gawked at Hoseok who was on his knees on the mattress, buck naked, back arched and ass up high. He looked over his shoulder and winked at Hyunwoo. “Instead of staring, how about you join me?”

Just after Hyunwoo nodded, he’d noticed the small bottle of lube placed beside the bed. They’d discussed anal, neither of them experienced but Hoseok expressly interested while Hyunwoo was curious.

Hyunwoo wanted to hold onto some of his concerns, but the eyeful caused his cock to twitch with want. He dropped his towel on the ground and joined Hoseok on the mattress.

Hoseok stretched out flat on his stomach, his hand sliding up Hyunwoo's leg. “I've been stretching myself for a few weeks now, I wanted surprise you. I was prepping myself the whole time you were in there.”

Those words were better at helping him forget his troubles than any self-pep talks Hyunwoo could think of. “Get on your back,” he instructed. “I want to look at you.”

“Romantic,” Hoseok teased, trailed his fingers up a tan thigh before he turned onto his back and Hyunwoo climbed over him. They kissed, sucked at each other’s tongues. Hyunwoo kept himself propped up, but Hoseok’s arms came up around his shoulders and brought him closer so they were lying chest-to-chest

It was romantic, more than Hyunwoo had been in the weeks they’d been together. There was more to it than just being horny, there was security in Hoseok’s arms that served as reassurance.

He paused, breathed and brought his mouth down Hoseok’s neck in soft kisses. Hoseok was whispering nonsense, confessions and promises muddled by his emotional delivery. Hyunwoo looked up, expected Hoseok to be in tears but was greeted with a small, pleasant smile.

He raised his voice, just a bit above a whisper. “What are you waiting for?”

Hyunwoo smirked at Hoseok’s impatience, moved his hand from chest bone to groin and drew his middle and index finger together. He prodded between the cheeks, confirming the skin was lube-slicked before easing his fingers in and sinking them easily to the knuckles.

Hyunwoo sat up, leaned back to get the full view of Hoseok’s flushed face and hard cock. He scissored his fingers, carefully sliding them in and out again.

“How’s it feel?”

Hyunwoo licked his lips. “Tight.”

“And that’s just with two fingers.”

“I’m worried I’ll hurt you.”

“I’m a big boy.” Hoseok slid his hand up Hyunwoo’s bicep and squeezed. “It’s alright if it hurts.”

Hyunwoo nodded, took Hoseok’s cock in hand and pumped in time with the slide of his fingers. That spurred noises, moans from the mouth and whimpers from the back of the throat. Hoseok came with a near shriek, spurting messily onto his stomach.

If they didn’t clean it up, they’d get semen all over the sheets. Hyunwoo decided he didn’t care enough and reached for the lube beside the bed. He coated himself generously first before squirting some onto his fingers and pushing a little more of it into Hoseok’s ass. He pulled the legs up by the ankles, having legs propped up on his shoulders. His hands found themselves underneath Hoseok’s lower back, elevating the bottom half into a comfortable height.

Hoseok grabbed a pillow for his lower back, stuffing it where Hyunwoo’s hands held him. “Don’t hold back for my sake.”

Hyunwoo chuckled, shook his head. “You’ll have to learn patience, I take things slow.” The hands came up to Hoseok’s sides, holding either hip steady as he lined his cockhead up with Hoseok’s hole. He glanced up, meeting the other’s gaze. They hadn’t exchanged any words, both only inhaled and Hoseok nodded at him.

“Just let me know if you need me to stop or pull out.” With a gentle push forward, the tip of his prick pushed against the resistance of Hoseok’s tight hole. The other let out a pitiful, high-pitched whine. Hyunwoo hesitated, waited a moment but wasn’t told to stop so he continued the slow push of his hips until he bottomed out.

He paused when he got there and breathed, hoping to take a second to slow his heartbeat. Hoseok grunted under him impatiently. Compliant, Hyunwoo drew back, eyes fixed on the hole clinging to his shaft as he pulled himself out.

“Fuck me,” Hoseok growled, his hand coming up to squeeze Hyunwoo’s thigh hard. “Really fuck me.”

Hyunwoo huffed. He ignored the demand and continued to enjoy the slow draw of his cock and a vice-grip that tested his composure. He fucked slow, until the novelty of the incredible feeling had mostly worn off and he could focus on making Hoseok feel good with him.

His hips found a rolling rhythm as he started speeding up, still mindful of Hoseok’s garbling in case there was a “wait a minute” or a “stop” in there, but every fifth word he caught a “please” or a “harder”.

After the first forceful buck of his hips Hoseok had grunted so loud that Hyunwoo stopped for a moment, but the other reassured him repeatedly he was fine and begged him to keep going, to fuck him in earnest.

Fuck it, fuck the neighbors, fuck it if they complained. Hyunwoo tightened his grip on either of Hoseok’s hips, pulled him closer and slammed into him as if his cock could bury itself any further. He used his strength of his muscles, started feeling the strain on them through their rutting but he couldn't begin to slow to his movements. He was maddened by the sensory overload, the heat and sweat sitting on his skin, the pump of his heartbeat from both excitement and exertion, Hoseok’s shouting and the ass hot and tight around him.

He wasn’t a man of many words, but he had even less than usual. It didn’t occur to him to warn Hoseok he was close. Hyunwoo came with a quiet groan, and he quickly leaned down, kissed Hoseok while he was nestled deep and filled him with spurt after spurt of cum.

He didn’t want to pull out even as he softened. Hoseok didn’t seem to either, wrapping arms behind Hyunwoo’s back to hold him close.

“We’re going to smell like sex all day tomorrow if we don’t clean up.” 

“That’s fine,” Hoseok giggled, kissing beneath Hyunwoo’s ear. “God, that’s fine with me.”

Hyunwoo rested easy that night, lulled to sleep by warmth and counting Hoseok’s heartbeats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay basically this chapter is a mess. Editing this was a nightmare because I moved parts around from other chapters. I really hope that doesn't show, but I've been looking at this one for so long I can't tell anymore.
> 
> The good news is at this point I know exactly how many chapters this will end up being.


	5. Chapter 5

He helped Hoseok dig. That wasn’t new. He helped Hoseok pull the casket out of the ground. That wasn’t new. He helped pry it open. That wasn’t new. After that, he merely stood witness to Hoseok delicately cradling a corpse as if it were something precious. In a way, that wasn’t far off the mark. 

He made the mistake of thinking he was hardened, immune to it after the previous trials. The disgust hit Hyunwoo hard,had him bowled over on the ground fighting the urge to retch. Thankfully Hoseok put the thing out of sight in the truck bed and it gave Hyunwoo time to collect himself.

He drove that night, Hoseok already greeting him from the passenger’s seat. He dragged his fingers affectionately down Hyunwoo’s forearm with his brows furrowed with concern.

“Are you good to drive?”

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo nodded, kept nodding. He swallowed down, kept his eyes forward, afraid to look at Hoseok.

The ride home was quiet, mostly because every time Hoseok tried to speak Hyunwoo hadn’t bothered with more than a nod or acknowledging grunt.

He held the door open when Hoseok carried the corpse in, cleared the kitchen counter where they prepared food and laid down a plastic garbage bag they had cut up for the situation. He retired to the couch in front of the television afterward, wishing he remembered to grab a drink but he didn’t want to catch a glimpse of whatever Hoseok was doing.

He’d fallen asleep, and when he woke up again Hoseok was right beside him, cuddled into his side with the head on his chest. He stroked fingers through the hair and fell asleep again shortly after.

In the morning, Hoseok was up already, seated on the edge of the mattress with a cup of coffee and a plate of toast. When Hyunwoo had stepped into the kitchen it was cleared of all horrors and the parts he had cut off were all hidden away in cardboard boxes lined up alongside the kitchen wall.

“Minhyuk is on his way down here.” Hoseok said while he chewed through bread and butter. He nodded toward the stove. “There’s some coffee in the pot there. Might have gotten some grinds in it.”

“Alright.” Hyunwoo poured himself a cup, disinterested in fashioning breakfast. The coffee was strong, how he liked it but the chafing of grinds over his tongue furthered his nausea.

He looked at the hands, Hoseok’s hands. Hands that reached out for his and Hyunwoo swallowed thickly as the thumb brushed over his knuckles.

“We’ll be past all of this one day,” Hoseok said sure and serious.

“Yeah.” Their hands separated.

It was still early in the afternoon when Minhyuk showed up. Hoseok stepped out to greet him. Hyunwoo watched by the window, Minhyuk hugging him again and Hoseok returning it with a half-assed hug of his own. They went up together, Minhyuk also greeting Hyunwoo with an over-friendly hug before the three loaded up all the boxes into Minhyuk’s car.

It was quick work, two trips up and down before the kitchen was cleared of boxes. Minhyuk didn’t stay long, only lingering for a few minutes to pay Hoseok before waving and making his way out.

Hoseok had taken to rambling recently, spitting out ideas Hyunwoo hated rapid-fire. Hyunwoo mostly stayed silent, with no intention to encourage or discourage the other but there was one that caused a drop in his stomach.

Hoseok laid his head in Hyunwoo’s lap, playing with the fingers on Hyunwoo’s hand. “I’ve been thinking about getting a new computer. We could cut the middle man and maximize profit.”

“That’s interfering with a market,” Hyunwoo snapped, perhaps not sounding as firm as he would have liked. “You don’t know how Minhyuk would take it.”

Hoseok hummed. “I should ask Jooheon’s opinion.”

“It’s a bad idea, Hoseok. It’s too much. Besides, you wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“Minhyuk told me he’s self taught.” Hoseok sat up then, spaced himself from Hyunwoo. “I could figure it out.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about and you know it. You bring a computer in here, then this thing is in our home. An illegal business, traced directly to us.”

“There are so many ways to cover our tracks,” Hoseok argued. “You really think I wouldn’t take every precaution?”

Hyunwoo stood, ready to make a wordless exit before he got too worked up but at the doorway he stopped abruptly and turned back toward Hoseok. “You don’t shit where you sleep.”

Not even a week passed when Hyunwoo came home to see Hyungwon and Hoseok setting up a computer. He wasn’t sure why he was even surprised.

“Hey, Hyunwoo.” Hyungwon looked up from the modem and waved, grin unabashedly enthused coming from the young man. “Long time no see. You look as good as ever.”

Hyunwoo took a moment to stare at either of them before asking, “Hey. What’s going on?”

“Hoseok stopped by the gym, said he needed help setting up a computer if I was up for it.”

Hyunwoo wasn’t too sure whether the room was just too hot or if it was the anger rising. “When did you buy this?” He couldn’t bring himself to look Hoseok in the eye, didn’t want a confirmation of the indifference he saw in his periphery.

“This morning, out of a yard sale.”

“It’s a budget pc alright,” Hyungwon laughed. “Haven’t seen computers like these since I was a kid. Some of these peripherals use some real obsolete connections but everything’s working as it should, I think. I just gotta hook it up to the Internet.”

Hyunwoo watched as Hyungwon plugged a the cable running from the modem to the PC. He instructed Hoseok to open the browser and when it didn't respond Hyungwon had called the cable company to troubleshoot.

Once the ‘guest’ was occupied, Hyunwoo pulled Hoseok aside. “We did not agree on this,” he spoke above a whisper.

Hoseok stood his ground. “It's business.”

It took everything in him not to grab Hoseok and shake him hard. He stepped back, breathed. “We're going to end up in prison.”

Hoseok immediately rushed by his side, holding either of Hyunwoo’s shoulders tightly. He pulled Hyunwoo down, closer to his level and looked him dead in the eye. “I would never let that happen. Listen to me, Hyunwoo, I would kill them before I let them take you away from me.”

Before Hyunwoo could respond, before he could explain that the insistence terrified him more than it reassured him, Hyungwon spoke up all chipper and jovial. “Internet’s hooked up, gentlemen. You’re online.”

They separated. Hyunwoo to the couch, where he looked over his shoulder and watched as Hoseok started messing around on the PC..

“Works great.” Hoseok nudged Hyungwon in the side. “Thank you, good looking.”

Hyungwon had giggled at this, shrunk back from the touch but was suddenly bouncy on his feet. “Anything for you two.”

Hoseok saw Hyungwon off. When he returned he broke the silence with, “Nice kid, we should invite him to a threesome one of these days.”

Hyunwoo hadn't laughed. Hoseok took a seat beside him and placed his hand on his knee. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I saw it and couldn't pass the sale up.”

“What’s done is done.”

Hoseok quietly looked at him and squeezed his knee. “Nothing will happen to us, I’m going to make sure of it.” More insistently, he cupped Hyunwoo’s face in a hand and guided the attention to him. “Hyunwoo, I’m going to do everything and then some.”

Hyunwoo never lied to Hoseok in all of fifteen years. “I trust you.” But it was a year of firsts, after all.

Hoseok couldn’t tell. He smiled, small, concerned and held it for a moment before getting up and heading back towards the computer.

Hyunwoo could give him credit for one thing, Hoseok really was giving it his all studying what he could about what he was about to head into. Studying out loud, reciting terms and instructions over to himself. He’d also picked up a printer later in the week, filling their walls with guidance, instructions, definitions. All practically a different language to Hyunwoo.

As much as Hyunwoo told himself he wouldn’t get involved, time eased the edge of one worry and let his concern for Hoseok consume him. If he couldn’t trust Hoseok to do it, it was absolutely necessary to shoulder some of that burden. He pulled a chair up beside Hoseok, learning and reading the same things, scanned and studied the walls around them. They would quiz each other, helping offset the information that wasn’t memorized. 

Learning the definition or function of a term was one thing, website design was another thing entirely. Hoseok and Hyunwoo worked toward building a secure, simple site, fumbling over themselves with novice code. Before launching it, they played around looking for any holes, any weaknesses in the security by attempting to hack into their own site.

Even then, even when they’d found everything they believed they could find Hyunwoo had numbed his worries with drink the night they’d launched the website. He was giggling because Hoseok was giggling, joyous because joy was infectious. The website and all the implications that came with it were pushed far from his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh it's been a while


	6. Chapter 6

They butt heads on how they’d take payment, though that was more of a symptom than a cause. Hyunwoo’s insistence on caution and carefulness, Hoseok’s bigger emphasis on fast results to make rent that month. It didn’t give them many options.

They opened a bank account in Hoseok’s name for money wires, number only given after intensive screening period with potential clients.

In the meantime, Hoseok networked. He befriended the young man at the post office, Changkyun. He was good at playing the business up, simply calling it a sure money maker that he didn’t want to get gutted over with shipping. His lie was that he removed hard drives from PCs found in the dump and at recycling bins, sold them for a steal online and that there’d be a nice cut in it for Changkyun if he shipped the boxes out with no additional processing and no questions asked.

Changkyun was happy enough to receive the money and follow instructions for them, along with surrendering his work schedule so Hoseok ensured only Changkyun would be delivering on a given day.

Hyunwoo always left the apartment once he helped Hoseok bring the “payload”, as they had taken to calling it, inside. More recently, he’d been spending that time with Jooheon acting as a diplomat.

Jooheon always seemed to know what to say to keep him grounded. “Looks like you ate something bad.”

“Feels like it,” Hyunwoo laughed, every bit as humorless as he felt.

Jooheon scoot forward in his armchair, in reach to offer Hyunwoo’s shoulder a reassuring pat. “I’m sorry, man.”

He picked his head up, met Jooheon’s eyes. He shifted, threw his head over the backrest and kept his gaze glued to the ceiling. “He used to be different. He and I, we used to talk about saving money, moving into the city and going back to school. Really making something of our lives, you know? We don’t talk like that anymore.”

“What do you think happened?”

“We didn’t quit working the mines for no reason,” Hyunwoo started, took a breath before launching into the memories. “I got sick. I got really fucking sick. The doctors were saying they couldn’t do anything, so all we could do was just sit on our hands and hope for the best. I bought into it, told Hoseok if anything happened to me he had to learn to cope on his own. It freaked him the fuck out.”

“And then you turned out fine,” Jooheon observed.

Hyunwoo craned his head up and nodded. “And then I turned out fine, but something else happened. Another guy in our division, he passed suddenly with the flu. Young guy, not much older than we were. We all attended the funeral. I mean, it scared both of us half to death and we decided not to gamble with our lives down there anymore. We left that same night. On our own, with nothing but the truck. We did under the table work for a while because we stole a lot of our boss’ money to get us by and we didn’t want our names out anywhere but that kind of work was brutal and difficult to find as far out as we were.”

“You guys got a little desperate. That was when I met you guys, right? You two were skinnier than you are now.”

Hyunwoo laughed. “Yeah, it wasn’t a good time. Hardly slept, hardly ate. He talked me into it, robbing that liquor store. And I was so fucking hungry then, I just couldn’t think of anything but surviving. Thought, fuck it, if we land in prison at least we got a place to sleep and food every day. It would’ve been better than how we were faring.” He blew air through pursed lips, sat up straighter to look Jooheon in the eye. “But it worked out, and I guess I got a little stupid after that. He started coming up with all these crazy ideas and I went along with it because everything was working. But,” he paused, rubbing his hands on his own thighs.

“But?”

“But now, I don’t know. We’re getting on track in one sense, but it feels like we’re going down the rabbit hole, and shit, I’m kind of scared of him. For him, I don’t know.”

“Why are you scared?”

“He,” Hyunwoo hesitated. “He told me he loved me.” He felt relieved when Jooheon’s only reaction was a quirk of brows and a small nod. He continued, “I don’t know what he’d do if it seemed like I was even hinting about a change to things. He freaks out if I just talk about getting a real job again.”

“Ah. And you, do you love him?”

“I do,” Hyunwoo sighed. “In a way, I always have. I might have just not realized it. But him as he is now, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what he’d do to himself. Or me, even. And then he goes ahead and fucks over your weirdo friend, no offense”

Jooheon chuckled. “None taken. Yeah, Minhyuk’s pissed but don’t worry, he’ll leave you guys alone.”

That was some peace of mind, at least. “I just don’t feel safe. As long as I’ve known him, he’s been my home and my life. I don’t feel safe around him.”

“You really think he wants to be doing this for the rest of his life?” Jooheon’s head cocked to the side, patient and open. Hyunwoo was suddenly very grateful for having him as a friend.

“Maybe. I’m worried about the implications from here on out.”

“It’s one hell of a mess you got yourself in.”

That much earned a snort from Hyunwoo. “Yeah, I know. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want him out of my life. I love him too, have never said it that way but I think he knows it’s there.”

When Hyunwoo got back everything was packed in neat boxes and cleaned up. Hoseok always did quick work of it, everything tucked away out of sight and out of mind. When he was touched, Hyunwoo pushed the idea of those hands touching the dead from his thoughts and let himself get lost in the feeling.

What was strange was that Hoseok hadn’t actually seemed any different, aside from an occasional dishonesty that Hyunwoo had also become guilty of. But after they had sex, after the veil of arousal had lifted from Hyunwoo’s eyes there was a lingering disgust he felt for Hoseok and himself.

Hyunwoo never brought it up, never addressed it, opting to convince himself that he was content and that all the bad would pass even if he had no clue how or when.

Weeks later, Hoseok’s cell phone rang after weeks of silence. Hyunwoo’s stomach sank.

Hoseok flickered a wary glance at it, had joked it was probably a vengeful Minhyuk. His expression hardened after he answered it.

“I’m sorry, how did you get this number?” Hoseok stood and started pacing. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly call Minhyuk my friend. Did he have you call me?” He stopped and stood still abruptly while he listened. “Why did you ask him for my number then?”

Hyunwoo watched, Hoseok meeting his eyes as the strange caller spoke. “Who is it?” Hyunwoo mouthed.

Hoseok shrugged, a nervous, jerky movement. The man on the other line went quiet and Hoseok gathered a moment. “Yeah, I’m listening.” His voice had softened, Hyunwoo noticed. From on edge and brusque to pliant and eager. “What are your references?” A pause again while the other man spoke. “The difference is I met Minhyuk through a friend of a friend. I don’t know who you are.”

More trouble, just when Hyunwoo was starting to come to terms with the recent stage of his life. Hoseok kept glancing back at him. “Well, you can’t fault me for being suspicious. Put yourself in my shoes. No, I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth. You went out of your way to contact me, threw out a number that seems crazy even to me. If you want my compliance, you’ll have to meet me halfway.”

And something seemed to deflate in Hoseok. A chest puffed defiantly had relaxed. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be free. Look forward to meeting you too.” He breathed a loud sigh of relief when he shut the phone and sat beside Hyunwoo. “This guy wants me to meet him at the park next week. He’s got a job for me.”

“What job?”

“Beats me.” He set the phone down on the arm rest. “The sort of money he’s promising could pay a year of rent.”

Hyunwoo swallowed. “It sounds like a death wish.”

“Yeah.” Hoseok licked his own teeth, gaze cast down at the phone. “Would you leave me?”

“What?”

“When we find out what the job is, if I take it, would you leave me?”

Hyunwoo thought, took his time. He couldn’t shake the feeling of Hoseok’s eyes honed in on him with a curious sadness. He felt guilty for even entertaining it, but the madness had to stop. “If that’s what it takes,” Hyunwoo finally answered. “If that’s what it takes to get you to stop doing this shit.”

“Don’t be like that-”

“No, no, we’ve done it your way for a while. It’s not enough for me to ask you not to, it’s not enough for me to be upset about it. I stood by for so long because you made up your mind, but then you started going behind my back-”

“I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Lot of good that did.” Hyunwoo sucked his teeth. “I’ve been saving money. We can leave, move out to the city. I don’t know if I have enough to get our own apartment, but having roommates wouldn’t be too bad. We’d just need a couple of weeks to get settled, find a job out there. Eventually work toward going back to school.”

“You really think we’re cut out for that?” Hoseok snorted. “We’ve tried integrating. It doesn’t work. We don’t belong out there.”

“Then we’ll adapt,” Hyunwoo enunciated, desperate and pleading drag in his words. “Hoseok, if we’re in a world with billions of people and we can’t find a place among them, then we’re the problem.”

“You want me to change,” Hoseok accused, voice starting to raise.

“No,” Hyunwoo shook his head. He kept quiet, his anger causing a painful sort of exhaustion that kept his tone shaky. “I just don’t want be afraid anymore.”

Hoseok deflated, a short exhale after a word got stuck in his throat. He worked his mouth, nodded shakily as if he understood. “I know. I know, believe me, I know. But, you need to understand that I’ve been afraid for a long time, long before we started any of this.” Hoseok’s words were constricted, the tears started once a bout of thoughtful silence passed. He took Hyunwoo’s hand, squeezed it hard in his own. “I feel like I’m in control for once, like I can see where we go from here.”

Hyunwoo imagined for a moment, genuinely tried to picture a future between him and Hoseok. Picturing only blackness, his voice came up above a whisper as he asked, “What do you see?”

“I see you. Smiling at me.” Hoseok eased, seemingly placated by his vision before any of the ugly crying. He released Hyunwoo’s hand, pressed the man’s head into his chest and his arms over the shoulders in an embrace. “You can’t leave me. You won’t leave me.” It was neither threat or warning, Hyunwoo heard every ounce of Hoseok’s faith in those words.

Hyunwoo allowed himself to be held, even offered a halfhearted pat over Hoseok’s hand. If it came down to it, Hyunwoo would leave, he realized. He had to, for both of their sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls god let me finish this before 2018
> 
> small update as of 05/29/17: Very slow update schedule, but the fic isn't abandoned. I just am tired of it now and think it's really bad, but I do open it up and work on it every now and then even though it's kind of painful for me to look at lol. It will eventually be finished if I can get my head out of my ass and just work on it.


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